Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He shit in the fireplace
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
