i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize