Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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