he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
