If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Couch. On fire.
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