so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
