super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
