quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
only you would photoshop your dick
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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