were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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