Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
