Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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