Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
