Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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