I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
