i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can't turn off my feet"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
