How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
