I wish I could punch you in the face.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
