she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
