She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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