we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
