There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
