ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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