I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
