You made me cry and you don't even care
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
