I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
