I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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