tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
