I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
