the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
