I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
