My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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