I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
How external is "for external use only"?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
