Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
