i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
