its not stalking. its research.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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