ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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