Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
