When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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