I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize