my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
