he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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