We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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