Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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