i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
