I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize