hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
