the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
