first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
