I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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