So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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