i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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