definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
