I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
