we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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