Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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