Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Drake has all the answers
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
