elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
