would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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