it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
