I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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