New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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