friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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