Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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