I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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