I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm bleeding and have questions
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
