So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i think im in europe. pls send help
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
